Tags: pain

health, flu, sick

When it rains, it pours acid...

This has been a hell of a day... week..month

Last night or early this morning at 12:05 while over with friends I went from healthy to doubled over in pain in about 15 seconds. It was a sudden manifestation of flu had occurred and brought with it a whole new form of pain. Basically it felt like I'd been stabbed or shot in the gut. (Left side).

jnanacandra drove us home and I climbed into bed. I told her that I wanted to 'sleep in' to try to heal up. I took 2 fingers of Pepto and climbed into bed. I didn't sleep exceedingly well. At 6 am I woke up suddenly. I was nauseous. Now for the sake of argument there are 2 different forms of nausea. There is the fake nausea that most of us have. It's that queasy feeling that makes food repulsive to us. Then there is the real kind. The kind where the body feels chilled like the blood has drained from the body. Where you feel cold, clammy, and moist all at once. This is the body's 30 second warning that something is about to happen and you damned well better find an acceptable receptacle. For ten to fifteen minutes I took time to appreciate that I hadn't eaten in about 8 hrs.

I climbed back into bed with that delusion that I felt much better (despite the continuing stabbing pain) and fell asleep. That was when the nightmare hit. I've had nightmares that have horror type overtones. This was nothing like it. This was the hopeless nightmare of losing someone. I woke up clinging to H shaking.

I lay in bed for about 2 hrs now awake. I figure... if this doesn't improve in 2 hrs then I'm going to the clinic. And 2 hrs later I'd driven the car the 2 1/2 blocks to the walk in clinic. A nifty factoid about the free-roaming Andrei. Andrei has a blood pressure of 125/72. For those who know blood pressures you will marvel at what could be viewed as a near perfect measure for just below average. It's a healthy bp. My bp may at anyone time vary as much as 3% on either side. I explain this because at the clinic they read 90/72.

The doc interviewed me for a while as I try to deal with the lack of energy, killer headaches, dizziness, mild fake nausea bordering on the real stuff and of course the stabbing pain in my left side from hell. He ordered up X-rays, blood work, and my favourite cup. He even did that really personal test to have me cough for him. He said he had his suspicions.

It would seem that I am the proud winner of Diverticulitis. (Those of you who remember SNL's Whiners can now laugh hysterically)... Let me tell you... this is not fun. I am going to spare the details of what this little 'ailment' is. But, the upshot is that I've been prescribed even more Vicodin. My house is becoming a warehouse for pain killers. And two killer antibiotics. Reading the drug warning labels has been an exploration into terror. While I'm pretty sure my eyes aren't going to pop out, as for the other possible side effects. I think I'd be better off with the Dungeon Master's Guide's list of all the curses of the Teeth of Dahlver-Nar

These puppies are so strong that I am forbidden from drinking alcohol for the next 2 weeks. That's right. I am going to do mass on Sunday with Juice.


No offense but um... Can I make a call out from friends and loved ones to help me appeal to the gods to find out what the hell I did and how to appease them? Thanks
Andrei in the office


People who know me very well, know that I have difficulty with the term family. To say I am estranged from my blood is an understatement.

Last night, I said good night and fare well forever to a man who led a core of few people in my life who let me know what the term family means.

He brought me so many other words to hide that:
Friend, teacher, mentor, comrade, student, foil, pain in the ass, jester, Pan.

But, he was always there. He did so without trying.

He simply was who he was.

And in my faith, beliefs, and philosophy; that sentence carries more weight than can be measured.

I can't list all the memories, activities, roles, things that I learned from him. Each one is a single star in the body of Nuit that made up my relationship with him.

I can't find the right quotation, or lyric, or poetry to express my feelings for who he was, for that is like trying to define the infinite unity of Hadit.

He taught me so much of what I now know and understand in my own philosophy and I'm proud to say that I don't want to live the life he lived at all.

But I want to live my life with the same zest and love as he did.

The world is slightly colder and knowing I will never hear the sound of you bleating like a satyr again.

The Astral is slightly warmer and more crowded knowing that they will always have leather chaps in your size.

Thank you, Chris.


Unto Christopher from whose eyes the veil of life hath fallen may there be granted the accomplishment of his true Will; whether he wills absorption in the Infinite, or to be united with his chosen and preferred, or to be in contemplation, or to be at peace, or to achieve the labour and heroism of incarnation on this planet or another, or in any Star, or aught else, unto him may there be granted the accomplishment of his will; yea, the accomplishment of his will.