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Andrei in the office


Andrei's Universe

One man's journey from infinity to nothingness

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Andrei in the office

Shows over. Go home :-(

This will be the last post I make concerning my blood relatives. today I received a response in the mail to the letter I sent.

The short form: I received a letter purportedly from my sister. The letter goes on to tell me how the idea was hers and that she merely wishes to be with my departed relatives because no one cares.

If this letter was written by my mother or anyone asides from my sister. I don't even consider the author of the letter and this entire ride that I have embarrassed myself in front of co-workers, friends, hospitals, police, and colleagues...I don't even consider the author remotely human.

If this letter was written by my sister then she truly can't recognize when people care about her and there is nothing further I can do.

I take this space to apologize with all my honest heart to everyone who has been dragged into this disgusting perversion of family. Your kind words, emails, phone calls, messages, and everything else have kept me sane. And with this, I really don't feel deserving. I feel like I should have recognized something like this sooner.

The letter is posted in its entirety below the cut line. Judge for yourself. I no longer care about what I edit and what I don't.

I will now be spending more money to file restraining orders against anyone purporting to be my immediate blood family. I gave my life's blood to them and they stepped on it and belittled it for 34 years. I came when called like a battered animal.

The bottom line: I have no blood relatives left from my immediate family. They have all died. If anyone asks, I will tell them, "My family is dead. I have no siblings, I never knew my mother." If anyone asks details they will be told that I do not wish to discuss it.

If anything has come of this...I know I have family. People who care about me for me. And in all things... that's all that matters.


This is your sister, I read this before Brian. Honestly, I left mom and gave Anna to Wendy. I did try to kill myself, and failed. She has driven me this way, and I am sick of it. She makes me believe everything. I am sorry about all of this. Brian knows the truth, mom could care less. Noone cares, I do not care, and all I want really is to be with dad! I was in the hospital for a while, back in April-May, 2002. Minor heart attack. Mom drove me there. Brian, loves me, but I do not feel it. I am numb and I do not care. I am giving up on my life and that is that. Yea, this was a lie, look at what I went through seeing mom and dad lie to each other day after day for the majority of my life, then getting married to leave it. I am worthless, and I do not care. I am sorry for hurting you!!!!!! I am sorry!!!! I am sorry!!! I understand if you never want anything to do with me. This is my life, and I give up!! You can do whatever, I do not give a shit anymore about this family. Noone helped me with dad's loss, but Brian. Whoppie, I am in remission, what next? I have another god damn medical problem, and I do not want it treated! I hate life, I hate mom, and I haye myself. Noone can help me. Noone would.
You did hurt me, by the way. I did send you email after email about dad's condition and even called. NEVER GOT A RESPONSE! I am not sure if Carrie had access to your acct, but I left messages. I saw him dying, I saw the shit he had been going through. This is up til the day he died. If this case wins with Arlen Spector, you can call him, you can have the winnings if there are such. I don't want it.
My life was spent around lies in this family. I cannot take it anymore! My life is better off with Dad, Bea, and Mollie....Also Mary (died 1995.) I am fucking sick of all this shit. I am not at mom's. Also, I do not know when Brian came to town. I know hwo much he cares, and loves me, but I cannot show it in return.


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I have read all of the posts you have made, and I did not know what to say. I am so sorry you had to go through this hell. I do not know of anyone who deserves to be treated this way by their "family." It's an incredibly sick joke, and it takes a very sick person to execute it.

As far as I am concerned, you have nothing to feel embarrassed about. Your behavior clearly showed that you really, and truly cared, and none of the people who really care about you can ever find fault for that. This may be of little comfort for you, but I bet I am right and that your friends will back me up on this.

Just remember that the people who love you are your "family" and from what I have seen, you have a huge family!!!!

Love, and BIG BIG HUGS,


Operagirl said what I wanted very well. You think I would have seen this shit coming, Brad's family in the past played similar games, but I guess I didn't want to believe it was true. I really didn't want to think that there were that many totally screwed up families out there who enjoyed hurting those that loved them.

Just please know all your friends love you and feel for the pain you have been going through. You WILL get through this and you WILL enjoy your life again. You are a good, wonderful man, and deserve to be treated as such. I wish there was more I could do to ease your pain. All I can do is repeat these words, We love you, we love you, we love you!

If anything has come of this...I know I have family. People who care about me for me. And in all things... that's all that matters.

Bro I've said it a thousand times over and over again. I love you deeply. You are my friend and confidant when I need it. I'm here for you and will be for as long as you need me. Give me an IM if you feel you need to talk. You've seen me through alot of the mess that I've been through with my own flesh and blood and if things continue.. well.. who knows I may be disowning my family next. Too much abuse in this world.

*hugs* Love you, Andrea

*hugs* None of this is your fault. You were duped and you cared enough to do what you could. The people who did this to you are soley to blame. I found out a long time ago that "family" doesn't mean shit in our society. Friends make better family than blood in many cases.

I'm here if you need me.

you know that "family" is not always bound by blood but by feelings, remember that we care even when we are far apart...always
Even when we make mistakes, there are people who are there for us...always


I cannot imagine how anyone could be so cruel. I am at a total loss at what to say in the face of such monstrous people.

Sit shiva for them. Shiva, as a grieving process is more for you than any departed relative.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm a lawyer's daughter (my dad is a CPA and an attourney) Part of me wants to tell you to sue them for mental anguish. But then that would be prolonging the pain.

Know that you have family here that have open arms to hug you and take you in.


Adding one voice to a multitude . . .

I don't see any reason for you to apologize for what has happened, or for sharing your pain. Family is the eternal blind spot for all of us.
Know that your friends are there for you,
everything else is negotiable.

You have nothing to be embarrased about.
You acted like an honorable human being.
You have shown depths of caring few people ever show.
You fought for those you love, even though that fight was against those who would hurt you most.
You gave it all your heart could take, and then some, but did not give away your soul.

I am proud to call you friend.

Lots of hugs...


re: I have embarrassed myself in front of co-workers, friends, hospitals, police, and colleagues...

As a co-worker, colleague and friend (C) I can say with absolute certainty that you have not embarassed yourself. You have had a horrible situation occur to you, it has affected you greatly, and everyone respects that.

Hugs from afar,

Not much to say except that I'm very sorry. Probably for the best that you write them off and keep them away from you, but I might suggest that occasional tabs on your neice, just to make sure she remains separated from that inhuman woman, may be warranted. :(

It is horrible that anyone would punish you this way for the simple act of giving a shit.

You have handled the situation with strength, bravery, and genuine care, even at the expense of your own sanity. You are clearly not the problem in your situation. It is a shame that you've been subjected to such bullshit from the very woman whose job it was to care for you and help you become a well-adjusted person.

I guess the punchline is that you have achieved a great deal, and have found a more supportive family of your own, despite the best efforts of some crazy woman to ruin you emotionally. She will wallow in that crap forever, while you have freinds and a life to return to. Good for you!

Dude...I haven't talked about this before now, because I'm the ultimate skeptic and kind of knew all along that this was a fraud. (This dude doesn't have his own IM...they're free, you know, why log in with her ID...especially if he owns a laptop...the hospital name...the lack of phone calls...etc.)

But that's easy for me to say. You simply could NOT afford to be a skeptic here. You HAD to believe what was going on, or at least take it with a grain of salt and continue as if it were real.

You didn't do anything wrong, anything stupid, anything naive...you just did what you had to do. When the bullshit got too thick, you called the bluff and it worked. Right on, go you.

I know this sucks, I know there isn't anything anyone can do to make this better, but we -can- encourage you not to make it worse by blaming yourself for anything or feeling bad or embarassed because of -us-. No need to do that at all.

Let's do lunch tomorrow, if you're coming in. And we specifically -won't- talk about this worthless shit. We'll talk about other worthless shit. :)

I'm not sure that I agree with the above post that it was fraud, there's honestly no way to tell what they said that was true versus what they said that was false. The only thing that has been demonstrated here is that you are someone that has truly gone through hell, if this episode is anything like the rest of your time around these people. Despite all of their attempts, you manage to be you. You still care. They haven't managed to scar you to the point that you are the same as them. You're a very warm and caring person, and they've manipulated that to the fullest extent. Or maybe they just don't have the depth of heart to understand what it means to be a good person. But you can't help those who won't save themselves. I've admired you from afar with this entire situation, for I would've lost my cool ages ago. Yet you kept plodding along, you were going to work and fulfilling your responsibilities to yourself and others... The things that your friends admire most about you, those seem to be the same things that your blood family can't stand. While I don't know you very well, you seem to be a very kind human being and considering your background I would say that you must have a very resilient spirit. I can understand how this might be embarrassing and uncomfortable to you, but please know that we don't fault you for caring. We don't fault you for caring about your (blood) family, your friends. I was relieved to see that you sent the letter, for instead of the other side making all of the rules you were able to wrestle some control. One of the hardest things about caring is learning when to stop.

No apology necessary...you did what you had to do to stay sane. I think a lot of people would have been hurt if you would have shut all of your friends out and tried to deal with this yourself. That's what we're all here for...to help each other. Sorry it turned out the way it did, but your friends will always be there for you. ***hugs***

I've had emails I sent you get lost, in fact I had a bounce today so I have to write here, which I wasn't comfortable with. If an email slipped by- thats no one's fault. If your sister's got Lupus which
might have already caused her a mild heart attack- thats depressing and scary for her. She may feel she's going to die soon, and be a burden or
live in pain. Depressed people can behave callously - cause they can't feel pleasure in what they used to -
it looks like she's trying to make you feel guilty. And maybe AIM isn't as good to trust as real phone
calls, real people back and forth. Email can be faked,
and it can be poisonous. Regardless of anythin, there
was never any need to be embarrassed at being upset,or
at your reactions, or for venting and calling, and about doing whatever you need
to do about them with your mother and you bitterly estranged.
God/dess bless,

You did the right thing, I think, and that was all you could do. Do what housekeeping you can there, and if you do visit Pittsburgh again you will be doing it to visit your chosen family.

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