Jesus Endorses Barack Obama; GOP calls Foul
With cries of obvious voter fraud and poll manipulation; Republican analyst Tom "Sparky" Eibinhauer pronounced that the endorsement of Barack Obama was a last ditch ploy to garner the liberal and social 'devout' group. "As far as the voter rolls noted this guy was marked as 'dead' last cycle and this smacks of some of the tricks that ACORN pulled." McCain campaign aide Linda Comodatina further pointed out that she didn't even believe that Jesus was in fact a legal American citizen pointing at his documented 'Middle East' origins. Despite this latest accusation, however, several members of the Utah Republican contingency assure our offices that Jesus is in fact American.
In Georgia the lambasting of "Jesus the Carpenter" has taken a further ugly turn. Congressional candidate Brent Underminer highlights Jesus's lack of relevance due to being no more than a community organiser. He further has linked the 'cult leader' to activities as a religious separatist, not merely being a member of, but in fact potentially leading an organisation described as "The Supper 13." Campaign ads from the North Carolina candidate for the 3rd district sewage and treatment plant (a position with a rotating 4 week term) Hank Hankus, suggests that the religious separatism proves that the Christian Lord and Saviour is Godless. Hankus' campaign staff could not be reached for comment on this.
Entertainer Jon Stewart of Comedy Central's "Daily Show" is now scheduled to interview the Christian Messiah on Monday's "Night before the Election" special. Says Stewart, "I have no idea what to ask him? I mean as a Jew the only level I can relate on is to ask how it was to give up being Kosher." Stewart's associate Steven Colbert followed up with, "Oh Come now Jon. Don't be a pansy." Comedy central was also unavailable for comment but did respond in a press junket by announcing that it would air a week of new "South Park" episodes satiring the endorsement.
This is a developing story...