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Andrei in the office


Andrei's Universe

One man's journey from infinity to nothingness

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Bunny Thwump

Anti-Meme Time: Do you have a crush on me?

Please read carefully, This is not what you think it is.

Also, with due respect to the people I do consider friends and loved ones who've posted on this topic; this is not a personal attack on you.

Comments are not screened. If you've ever had a smidge of a crush on me and you haven't let me know about it; I really don't want you to comment about it quietly and secretly in my journal. Personally, I'd rather you tell me. Face to face.

See, more often than naught, I consider myself the monarch of low self-image. Therefore, I tend not to ask (anymore) to see if people crush on me. I tried it once a while ago. I got no responses. And with a friend's list at the time numbering about 150 of which I had crushes on no less than about 45 people... it was... well not what I was hoping for. Amusingly, the girlfriend at the time opted not to respond either assuming I'd get lots of responses.

I contemplated why I posted it. What good would it do me? X, Y, and Z might have a crush on me. Oh gosh I hope Y tells me they have a crush on me? Oh, wait... what do I do if X tells me they have a crush on me.. I hope they don't. Why open myself to all this? Well, the result was fun. No one I was interested in replied... no one I wasn't interested in replied.

I like to resort to my rather dense side on this topic. When I'm out with someone I'm really more interested in learning about them and being myself with them instead of trying to fish for a pick up. I'd love to think people are crushing on me. But I really don't want to bait it on LiveJournal. If someone likes me... I'd really the person to tell me. Preferably in person. I don't have a lot of time to get out anymore. So I'd like to see someone who takes the time to become involved with me.

So, I guess; wondering if I have secret crushes out there over me doesn't interest me anymore because I don't have time for them. I don't have the time to put in the energy in the delusion that someone that I think is attractive to me in an intellectual, personality, or physical way; actually will desire to do more than interact with me as a friend. In truth being told someone has a crush on me feels more like a tease than anything else.

I've kept too many personal fires in the past two years for people who I know have no plans to help me fan them.

Feel free to comment below. I won't mock you, only you and I and anyone who chooses to read the comments of this post will ever know.

This is also an anti-meme. Meaning I'm not trying to spread my thoughts to others... I'm just speaking my own mind.

P.S. despite the tone of this I am in a good mood and the tone of this is meant to be matter of fact.

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I've found that it's easier to make a connection with a crush when that nifty tool of communication is utilized.

That, or showing them my boobs. But communication tends to get the ball rolling fastest.

Good Morning,

Yeah...I just randomly walk around crushing on people...So I would just have to tell everyone, and that way leads to insanity.

Incidentally, I hope you are feeling better. Things went well, but we missed you on Saturday.

93's, Jon

Thank you so much for everything. I hope I gave enough warning. By Wednesday I knew that I needed to start getting people prepped so it wasn't (completely) a last minute surprise.

I'm still utterly disappointed in myself (regardless of the fact that I have no control over these things) that I couldn't be healthy enough to be there.

Thank you again for covering. I owe you one and then about 92 more.

I avoided posting the 'crush' meme for the same reason; I don't think anyone has a crush on me and I really don't want that validated. I too would hope someone 'crushing' on me would approach me in person, while investing time getting to know me however; with fear of rejection and all that, it's possible I have admirers I don't know about, since I also keep my crushes to myself, thinking nothing could come of them.

I personally hate the term "crush." It certainly sounds like someone is going to get flattened, which more often than not is true.

..I've hung around with you. I'm surprised that I don't have a cracked rib by now.

Oh, come on! I don't tickle that hard!

I also avoid the term "crush". . .to me it always seemed a bit childish. I 'd rather be approached directly by someone who was attracted to me, or vice versa, and we can explore it as adults. :) I'm much more comfortable doing that one-on-one, rather in an open post where my own fear of rejection may be confirmed. I think the importance of body language, expression, eye contact is also a needed barometer, when one is attempting to reveal their attraction to another. . . .

I am guilty of not responding to your last meme on this topic.

The original post on this I thought was a bunch of years ago. I thought it predated you reading this journal. Granted... your comment above could be taken a couple of different ways.

... its positive...

I am attracted to:

big brains (check)
Awesome Personality / charisma (check)
Strong Will (check)

still being new to the web 2.0 world...what is a "meme?"

Short form: a small puzzle, game, link, or personality thing that you pass on and then others pass on as well.

Long form: Article on Wikipedia

Nobody had a crush on me either. I got a nice platonic reply from my LJ crush though. I don't know why I posted it; I admit I'm feeling low-self-esteemish, but I didn't want an ego boost so much as human contact. The person I want to have SEX with other than Steve is gone and it'll be like a year before I'll be ready to try that again.

You remind me of my other reason for being against these memes. I'm very far behind on reading LJ. I post.. but I don't read everyone's. The problem becomes.. if I don't comment... will people assume I don't want to play?

It's why I oppose things like "Wear jeans to support colon cancer research"... I'm kinda damned there. If I wear jeans... "Obviously I'm in support"... even if I missed the memo. Worse, if I don't wear jeans (having missed said memo".. now I'm a heartless bastard.

Still a one to one thing for me on the topic.

And for what it's worth... You're still one of the most favourite foot rubs I've given in the seattle area.

As you note, making/taking time to spend w/people is what matters...or mebbe that's just what my brain came up with after/while reading this as I'm now officially in brain-dead/squish mode. I know that I'm enjoying the time I get to spend w/you whether it be on-line or in-person, 'cause getting to know you is a treat and I'm looking forward to more depth and breadth of connection...and I don't think you really need to hear this 'cause you've SEEN it in action but I'm here and typing and have a fairly strongly held policy of DO NOT DELETE so here goes...

PLease note, I absolutely enjoy the time we've spent together and would love to do so more. :)

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