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Andrei in the office


Andrei's Universe

One man's journey from infinity to nothingness

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Andrei in the office

The level of stupidity in the business world...

I have a phone line for my Apolo Productions work. The phone is listed as "Apolo Productions."

I get constant calls from Vendors that want me to lease credit card machines. I also get calls from agencies who want to list us.

So far this has got to be one of the stupidest script bound callers I have ever received:

AP: Me on the phone as Apolo Productions
CA: Caller

Phone: (Ring)
AP: "Apolo Productions..."
CA:" Hi this is Info...USA. Have we reached the business, 'Apolo Productions?'"
AP: "That'd be why we answer the phone Apolo Productions" (smiling chuckle)
CA: "And is it that you're located in Sunomish... Washington?"
AP: "Yes we are...may I ask who you are and why you're asking these questions?"
CA: "Sure. This is Info...USA. We provide information for online search engines. We're just calling to do our updates."
(Ed: I've never heard of Info, USA. We've never given them information to update in the first place)
AP: "Yeah.. Okay. You're calling to do an update for.... your services?"
CA: "Yes sir. We provide information for online search engines. Such as Yahoo Yellow Pages and we're just calling to do our updates."
AP: "What information do you need?"
CA: "Are you still located in Shunomish... Washington" (Ed: Question was already answered)
AP: "Sno-homish."
CA: "Snohomish, I'm sorry... (lists zip)"
AP: "That's Correct"
CA: "And what is the address for this location"
AP: "It's unpublished"
CA: "Is there a separate mailing address?"
AP: "Basically, we take electronic contact only."
CA: "And what is the name of the owner of President, working at this location?" (Ed: As opposed to the owner working at our second location?)
AP: Andrei Freeman
CA: "And what is Mr. Freeman's job title?"
AP: (Pause due to the question) Owner or president.
CA: "And how many employees work at this location."
AP: Long thoughtful pause. Sounds of counting... "One... We're big time here."
CA: "And may I have Mr. Freeman's email, if there is one available?."
AP: (I give my apolo email)
CA: "And may I have your job title sir?"
AP: "Owner or president"
CA: "Okay, thank you sir. And you have a wonderful day."
AP: "Thank you so much"

Now, I will admit... I was a bit of a smart ass on this call. I was never snide in my voice. But I have to admit... from question one my respect for whoever was going thru their phone script dropped to zero.

The person on the line was always Stepford-plesant. Never reacted to anything that was said. Pressed on thru the script regardless of the obviousness of the situations. I am slowly coming to the opinion that any company that feels this is the level of customer interaction they should offer is a company that really isn't worth my time.

Just my morning rant. Off to the office.

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Oof. I'm a bank teller, and I'm telling you, if I didn't need this job badly, I would have already moved down to Seattle and applied at credit unions. Bank ethics seem to be about benefitting the banks and protecting the banks much more than they are about customer service, despite the image they put out.

The people making these calls have to go through the script EXACTLY as written, or they get punished by having points deducted from their monitoring scores. If they deviate too much, they can be fired. I know this firsthand, since I used to do telemarketing.

...which is why they should never rely on humans to do a job that a computer can do so much better!

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