As a director you pick things apart. In a strange way it's almost like trying to craft the perfect ceremonial ritual. Making sure that every word and phrase is intentional. Finding new life every time you look at a script.
There are times that I wish I had a far better instrument to work with. I consider myself a passable singer, adequate drummer, and overacting ham on stage. I love to be out there, I love to sing along to musicals, and give me a drum circle any night.
But I will honestly not feel like any great shakes out there.
The reason I feel this way is because I have faith in my senses. I often feel that I can spot talent a mile off. One of my dearest and closest friends in college I picked out of a 'group of extras' in a children's production while doing promotional work. She pulled my focus the first time I saw her and she became one of the more memorable actresses the department ever had.
I can see it, I can feel it, and 9 times out of 8 I can pull it out of a performer.
My current obsession (which is now going on several months) is RENT. It amuses me how many people I know who don't get this show. I've heard complaints that too many people are sick in the film. I've heard complaints that there's no compassion for people not willing to pay rent. I just shake my head.
If only this were in open domain I'd snap it up for a production in Seattle. Probably do it solely to raise money for AIDS awareness or SPCC.
So much of my life (as previously mentioned) has mirrored aspects of that show. Even today... there are glimpses.
It is amazing to consider that I am so different from the person I was at 19.... and yet.. so much the core of who I am.
It has been a very long day. I have seen many people audition for a show today. I think I have my choices; but I am only one voice. We shall see how that plays out over time.
"I hear you, I see you, I see it... my film"
ask me about my prequel.
Okay. Sleep now. There is more in my head to put to journal soon.