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Andrei in the office


Andrei's Universe

One man's journey from infinity to nothingness

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Gnostics go PING!

Thought for the day...

So... if there is a creature known as the HGA: Holy Guardian Angel; which we might be able to define as the perfected self that tries to lead us toward the path of self perfection...

Does it follow that there might be an IDD (Infernal Destructive Demon): Which we might be able to define as the imperfected self that raises our weaknesses, ego, and makes us lower than we are.

How would we recognize the difference?

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I don't know much, but I know that they exist, that they are identical twins who dress exactly alike. Trick is telling them apart.

And it is never this easy:

In my world view, the HGA might be the clarity we achieve in our best moments which integrates our intellectual, physical, and emotional needs into an internally consistent and practical whole. There are good instincts here, but I think it is largely a rational process.

Ihe IDD would be the millions of years of collected instincts which are no longer so relevant once you have goals above the replication of your genes.

So, I posit both exist and each impulse can be judged to some degree on whether it is trying to keep you healthy or just propogate your genetics.

Crowley refers to the latter as the "evil genius". He also says, interestingly, that if an initiate mistakes the evil genius for the HGA but aspires toward it with perfect love he or she will attain regadless (to paraphrase.) So make of that what you will.

Does it exist? Hell yes.

Hiw do you recognize it? Well I don't rightly know, but I look for an infernal indicator. Does she let you settle for creature comforts (including sex?) Does she haggle? Does she hold her light back?

I've been working with an IDD of sorts for years, and she's great. Only problem is, now that I recognize her as my IDD (sitting at a juncture between two paths on the tree of death), I realize just the extent to which she's left me slacking, and it's created a conflict. Simply put, I don't trust her with the same intensity. So the quest is on for the HGA.

Hope this helps.

The evil version has a goatee. Duh.

My evil version wears black pvc and carries a whip. She keeps the goatee shaved.

when you're feeling one, look in the mirror. helps if you've already done a lot of work to see yourself clearly. ;>

Are we rationalizing away our responsibility for our own behaviour by making them creatures in their own right? Aren't we just HGA- challenged today or having another IDD- dominant day today?

Interesting the difficulty in recognition is directly proportional to our desire to recognize these creatures both in ourselves and other people. Recognition is also related to the impact of our behaviour on the people around us who act as clarified mirrors to aid in recognition.

As I see it, if you anthropomorphize a part of yourself, you don't get to write it off as Not Your Problem. It just shifts the challenge from trying to control or obliterate it (which is often impossible) to trying to negotiate with it or live in right relationship with it. This can make all the difference if you don't want to fully own a set of feelings, but you recognize them within you and want to make sure you deal with them properly.

There might also be a NEE (Normal, Existing, Entity), which could be defined as trying to lead us towards an average life of mediocrity.

We could split our consciousness into thousands of sepperate entities, one driving us to have more sex, one driving us to drink more beer, one driving us to get a better job, one driving us to be better at playing cards, ad nauseum.

But, why fracture ourselves? If there are multiple creatures fighting to lead us in the direction of their own desires, and we were just bobbing along for the ride following one or another, that doesn't leave a lot of room for a creative self capable of much thought other than which one to follow.

If there are such creatures the only one I'm going to worry about is my HGA. And, I think I come up with enough ways to distract myself and inflate my ego, and lead a life of mediocrity without an IDD or a NEE.

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