|ariche||glues your elderly relatives to your bedroom ceiling.|
|cute_evil||paints your cat orange.|
|fiannaharpar||sells your car on Ebay.|
|jackal_child||TPs your head.|
|queenofhalves||enlists you in the French Foreign Legion.|
|schnookiemuffin||buys you a Russian Bride.|
|shimmeringjemmy||trims your hedge into a replica of the Venus de Milo.|
|sol_et_luna||has a hundred large anchovy pizzas and a diet coke delivered to your door.|
|worldmegan||shaves your dog.|
|zoe31602||smiles. All the time.|
MEMEtime: April Fools?
This link may or may not work for an unbelievably cute dose of aiden_freeman Otherwise the image is bow below the cut.
jnanacandra has put it quite well. See her post.