The quote that gave me a smirk was:
NASCAR is a Yankee conspiracy to keep you (southerners) all placated so the South won't rise again.
I know at least a few readers who will probably take offense to this.
Note: I was raised in a mixed marriage (He was from Brooklyn, She was from the Bronx). Currently, it's getting very difficult to live any further north without changing nationalities and buying a Took. (sp?)