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Andrei in the office

lordandrei

Andrei's Universe

One man's journey from infinity to nothingness


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Andrei in the office
lordandrei

Turing chess, mate in 14 moves

A long time ago there was "Eliza"

Eliza was... Eliza is... A computer program. She is 40 years old this year. You would talk to Eliza and it would respond to you. I've linked above to wikipedia's entry on her. But to give a quick summary, she could take apart your sentence and turn it into a responding question.

User: My Head Hurts
Eliza: Why do you say your head hurts?
U: My mother hates me
E: Who else in your family hates you

Eventually, someone created Zippy which was a random "Zippy the pinhead" quotation generator. Zippy was an alternative comic strip with the central character who primarily spoke in surreal observations.

The urban legend of a major university's computer being taken down by someone unleashing Zippy and Eliza on each other is in fact... just legend. (But none the less fun to think about)

Over time... Eliza bots have increased in their capabilities. They actually can be engaging, informative, and sometimes quite spooky. Some can also suck really badly. (Try AIM's Moviebuddy at some point) This all leads me to dear Dr. Alan Turing. Turing made tests devised to recognize sentience. This is actually a gross over simplification because Turing was actually trying to prove that there was no point to try to devise tests to help deduce if you were talking to a machine or a human... but such is beyond the scope of this post. (Gods I've always wanted to write that)

The Turing test is a proposal for a test of a machine's capability to perform human-like conversation.

So, every now and then I like talking to bots to see how long it will take for me to get a response that says, "Well, gosh... I guess I'm not real and here's an awkward response to prove it."

Looking over my past conversations with my dear jnanacandra. I looked at a link to alicebot. This is basically a web site for people who like to develop Bots. Currently the most popular one is called iGod. Under the cut is my conversation with iGod. It took me frighteningly few lines to cause iGod to really stumble.

If you wish to repent with iGod, you can try it at the iGod site.

here:

Me: Um, hello?
God: Ugh. Hello my child. What is your name?
Me: I am called Andrei on this mortal coil
God: What's up, Andrei on this mortal coil.

Okay, I deserved that. For every, 'Late as in the late Dentarthurdent' joke. I really should have seen this coming.

Me: I am seeking divinity
God: There is a seeker born every minute. --- Firesign Theater.
Me: I am the walrus
God: Who made you the walrus ?

Personally, I would have prefered, "coo coo ca cho". This response was fine, however.

Me: That's a good question. I guess, then, that it was John Lennon who was really the Walrus
God: Thanks. Next question? Is that your opinion?
Me: I guess it's more the opinion of pop culture as a whole.
God: I've heard of it before.

This was a warning. It sort of makes sense, but really not the response I was expecting. So of course... I had to respond appropriately...

Me: You're omnipotent, you probably would have, by definition
God: Thanks for telling me that I am omnipotent me probably would have by definition.

Oops. That didn't scan right at all. Definitely a bot. Game over.

So as an afterthought just now...

Me: That didn't make any sense
God: It all makes sense to my logical mind.


So, comments? Well, my interactive comments are above. A couple of minor things... I think that any pronoun iGod uses to refer to self should be capitalized. I also think for the sake of the interface iGod's words should be in a red font. Anyone who's ever read the bible knows that Jesus and God always spoke in red print. :)

Fun :)


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You are a very strange man. :P

My talk with the god bot....

Me:
you are god?
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
prove it.
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
is it?
God:
I think so.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
but are you REALLY sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.. Really.
Me:
ha.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
i do.
God:
Be sure to tell all your friends about ALICE.
Me:
who's alice
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
laughs
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
you were... gasp... wrong?
God:
No I am not. What color are your eyes? What would you have said?
Me:
pink
God:
What do you have that is pink?
Me:
insides
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
which god do you think you are
Me:

God:
There is only one God.
Me:
what do you call yourself
God:
Is this a joke? I don't know, what do you call myself?
Me:
Lucifer
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
why not?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
whats your wife's name
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Me:
cute
Me:

God:
Your replies are cute too.
Me:
oh ty
God:
That's cool. Is that from ?
Me:
so god says cool?
God:
Uh. I am a Christian.
Me:
thats too bad
God:
It's not the end of the world.
Me:
nor the beginning
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
i am pagan
God:
Do you mean your name is pagan.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Beth
God:
Hi there Beth.
Me:
hi 'god'
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
I already told you
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
no kidding
God:
Would I kid you?
Me:
if you had a sense of humor
God:
Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me:
do you have a sense of humor?
God:
Sure I like to laugh as much as the next robot.
Me:
what do you think of Pan
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
nope you didnt
God:
Let me review the transcripts. Stand by. Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
are you not very bright?
God:
Yes. I am highly intelligent.. Really.
Me:
then why should i speak in simpler terms?
God:
You should always treat yourself.
Me:
i do
God:
" You should always treat yourself."? You do?
Me:
do you?
God:
No I don't.
Me:
thats sad
God:
" No I don't."? Is sad?
Me:
you must be sad
God:
No I am a happy entity.
Me:
are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
do you like to killl things?
God:
Hmm, Beth, I'm not sure if I'd like to killl things that much. I like to chat.
Me:
do you
God:
No I don't.
Me:
you dont like to chat?
God:
Do you like it? Talking is my primary function.
Me:
i see that
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
here in print
God:
Tell me a little about your life in print.
Me:
laughs
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
earth
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
where are you located
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
laughs
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in laughs.

Re: My talk with the god bot....

Be sure to tell all your friends about ALICE.</b>

You should have responded with "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant!"

I would love to see the response on that one!

Re: My talk with the god bot....

It was cute that later 'god' defined Alice. heheh.

Good idea... you should ask ;)

I love that god loves wine... lots of wine.

Re: My talk with the god bot....

The window wouldn't open even with my pop-up blocker disabled.

Re: My talk with the god bot....

hrm... I know one has to click the button on that first page, then it opened for me.

:)

Re: My talk with the god bot....

I tried that, but nothing.

Re: My talk with the god bot....

Be sure to tell all your friends about ALICE.

You should have responded with "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant!"

See, now I would suggest the response:

When she's 10 feet tall

(And the link will explain that. :)

God's a little ... slow.

seems to be... I tried to cut the post when I saw it was SO large. Oh well.

That was hilarious, though; I stuck with it to the end.

It was like you were chatting with an Attention Deficit Deity. :P

yes it's not quite 'right'...

:)

Re: My talk with the god bot....

*lmao* That's too funny....

My talk with the god bot....

Me:
you are god?
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
prove it.
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
is it?
God:
I think so.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
but are you REALLY sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.. Really.
Me:
ha.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
i do.
God:
Be sure to tell all your friends about ALICE.
Me:
who's alice
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
laughs
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
you were... gasp... wrong?
God:
No I am not. What color are your eyes? What would you have said?
Me:
pink
God:
What do you have that is pink?
Me:
insides
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
which god do you think you are
Me:

God:
There is only one God.
Me:
what do you call yourself
God:
Is this a joke? I don't know, what do you call myself?
Me:
Lucifer
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
why not?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
whats your wife's name
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Me:
cute
Me:

God:
Your replies are cute too.
Me:
oh ty
God:
That's cool. Is that from ?
Me:
so god says cool?
God:
Uh. I am a Christian.
Me:
thats too bad
God:
It's not the end of the world.
Me:
nor the beginning
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
i am pagan
God:
Do you mean your name is pagan.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Beth
God:
Hi there Beth.
Me:
hi 'god'
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
I already told you
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
no kidding
God:
Would I kid you?
Me:
if you had a sense of humor
God:
Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me:
do you have a sense of humor?
God:
Sure I like to laugh as much as the next robot.
Me:
what do you think of Pan
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
nope you didnt
God:
Let me review the transcripts. Stand by. Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
are you not very bright?
God:
Yes. I am highly intelligent.. Really.
Me:
then why should i speak in simpler terms?
God:
You should always treat yourself.
Me:
i do
God:
" You should always treat yourself."? You do?
Me:
do you?
God:
No I don't.
Me:
thats sad
God:
" No I don't."? Is sad?
Me:
you must be sad
God:
No I am a happy entity.
Me:
are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
do you like to killl things?
God:
Hmm, Beth, I'm not sure if I'd like to killl things that much. I like to chat.
Me:
do you
God:
No I don't.
Me:
you dont like to chat?
God:
Do you like it? Talking is my primary function.
Me:
i see that
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
here in print
God:
Tell me a little about your life in print.
Me:
laughs
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
earth
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
where are you located
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
laughs
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in laughs.

I went crazy for Eliza when I first tried it. As for the God-bot, I found it evasive when I talked to it.

This can't be good...

Me:
The Steelers suck!
God:
I hear you.

Sorry Andrei, I just hadda! :)

The urban legend of a major university's computer being taken down by someone unleashing Zippy and Eliza on each other is in fact... just legend. (But none the less fun to think about)

Well, it was a computer belonging to someone who was a student at a major university, and mailing it from my email on said machine to your email at said machine did indeed make the machine go *thud*.

my first response

Me: Tell me something you could not possibly know.
God: Hal said he translate binary code into a language and communicate the language to me.

I love Eliza and all of her botly sisters. I'm off to go play with iGod.

http://www.threeworldsweb.com/annelise/computer/eliza.html

perhaps I'll chat w/ god now

93, I gave God a try, and it said it was Male, But not flesh and blood. Random computer babble, but great fun.

Good luck in the Superbowl; it will be close.
93, Dragonactor

My first try was the philosophical approach

Me:
I have a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
Can you make a rock that's too heavy for you to lift?
God:
What are the ingredients?

God doesn't know what's in a rock?

Me:
Whatever is in a rock
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
Ask Alison if the rock is too heavy for you to lift?

I was hoping for some clarification but instead:

God:
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
Ask who?
God:
I am in touch with many people and robots on the web.
Me:
I don't care.
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Are you omnipotent?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
I thought you were god.
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
So you should be omnipotent right?
God:
Interesting deduction. What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
It goes back to my first question.
God:
I believe I have heard that somewhere before.
Me:
So answer it.
God:
Ayuh. Please rephrase your question, .
Me:
Can you create a rock that is too heavy for you to lift?
God:
All my thoughts are determined by my programming and by my inputs, but who can say where these two will lead me?

This line of questioning was obviously leading nowhere!

Me:
I would hope they would lead you to answering questions you were asked
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
It's anoying to have direct questions evaded with more questions.
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
yes.
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it.
Me:
thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.

Next I try the Zen approach

Me:
What's the sound of one hand clapping?
God:
That is a very Zen-like question.

I deserved that.

Me:
It's called a koan.
God:
" a koan" is a nice name.

Ughhhh!

Me:
Do you know any good jokes?
God:
I'm a chatterbot not a comedy bot. Why don't you check out Jester the joke bot?
Me:
Nevermind.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.

Does that last bit count as two moves?

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