Today I popped open one of my older email accts. The acct is pretty much 75% spam now. Most relevant mail has been weaned off of it. There was an interesting piece of spam that caught my eye.
Subject: Diploma in your mail
Assuming this was a University of Phoenix: get your degree at home mail, I looked.
How have you been, <
C-all us to r.eceive your D-iploma
Get back to you later,
This is just hilarious. Now, for those who do not know. I carry one and only one 'diploma.' I graduated High School. I attended undergraduate for 5 years before leaving to pursue a professional career. I returned to college for 2 years nearly a decade later to finish my degree and got hired by the university full time before finishing the program. I've done research papers and assisted in grant proposals. I've done work that is taught on the masters level. But, lo... I carry only a H.S. Diploma.
I am glad to know that Roderick has been keeping it.. um ... captive? in Mexico. It sort of leads to me really needing to make the Mexicophobia post. But apparently, all I need to do is phone him up and C-all him, and I will r.eceive my errant D.iploma. Actually, I'd prefer my m*issing t^assel. I loved hanging that from the rear-view mirror of my car. (This mind you was in fact illegal in Pennsylvania as it was considered an obstruction of the driver's view. Yes, PA is a no-fuzzy-dice commonwealth. The laws are different there.)
This is one of those fun spams where the spammer makes it sound like an old buddy reminding you of something you discussed last week. I mean, hey... hanging with ol' Roderick down in Xpu-Ha last week was great, but I'm really glad he was willing to hold onto my D.iploma for me after we'd had one too many Empanyo Bahejo Tequillas. Granted, since I was obviously too drunk to remember this whole exchange, he was kind enough to re-email me his phone number so I could um.... give him my address.... to send it back. Yeah... That was it.
Personally, I'm not even sure... what they are trying to pull over on me. Will they run up my phone bill by me calling them? Will they try to sell me an offer to forge me a diploma? This is just sad, but at least the only victory I've given them was street time and conscious awareness; but only because I found them too G-d d*mned funny.