This is also one of those posts where I try to say something pithy and deep and not get so involved that I just cut off at the end having run out of thought process.
Bewitched... well, it didn't suck. At least if I keep telling myself that... I may believe it. Bewitched reminded me of "All That Jazz" or at least one running story in the film. In "All That Jazz"
But none of this really directly has to do with the purpose of this post. Bewitched was exactly what I needed tonight. Something to put me into my element.
Today was a bumpy day for me. Which is okay, it's been a bumpy week. Currently I am waiting for an appeal hearing to see if they will approve my unemployment. I am waiting to hear whether or not I can iron out this continually just out of reach contract. I am waiting on my moving van that "shoooould" be here Sunday. I am waiting to tell everyone about this killer idea we've been working up. I am waiting to be me again. I feel massively in flux and detached from my element.
Granted if you were to ask me what my element is, I might respond like Fezzik when Vizinni told him to "Finish him your way."
"Oh good, my way. Thank you Vizzini... which one's my way?"
They (Oh no, attack of the accursed 'they' and the things they) say that Magick is the art of changing the universe to be in conformity with the will. Or put more succinctly, the Magickian changes the world around him. You know, you just don't get more change transforming the street in front of your house from Los Angeles to Snohomish. They also say, be careful what you wish for... you may just get it.
So here I am. My bumpy day. Now, I've gotten really good about not throwing drama around. Those who knew me 20, 15, 10, heck even 5 years ago, would be surprised that I'm no longer a drama magnet. I really have come to the point to believe that if you're really in a mental place, you really should be able to work it thru without dragging everyone else into your hell. Because, it's not really hell. Major change takes adjustment, and sometimes you feel really out of sorts in these times.
I absolutely trust those around me to be understanding, but I'd really prefer not to have to rely on people to pick me up. Having recently been shot up the a*# with morphine, I can understand the idea of the time for strong medicine and the ease with which one can get addicted. I know I can turn to my loved ones and friends when it's really necessary, and I can also judge when not to. Each person has their life, we really try not to get in the natural course of each other.
So tonight, I decided a movie was in due course. I knew going in that a random character would show up at the end to 'fix things' ... sorta... but I wanted to see it. And just to state a simple fact.... I don't get Will Ferrell. I don't understand why people think he's funny. I'm a mutant... I get that. But I honestly don't understand why people like the guy. All I want to do is knee him in the crotch or hit him with a shovel. (And to all the WF fans out there, want and action are two different things. If you hear that some guy has kneed or spade him.. it wasn't me.)
I watched the film. I analyzed it a little during. I felt the same retooling feeling that I got during Emperor's New Groove. Afterwards in the car, we chatted about the film. We took it apart. I was doing something me-like. It felt good. It felt like me. I'm still in there. Okay. I've moved from a city of 3.7 Million people to a city of just under 10,000. Okay, there are fewer people in Snohomish that were at Pennsic XXX. I have no furniture, I have prospects, I have stuff coming. But I'm still here.... I'm still me.
I wish I didn't need to find a reminder today. And that will be the stuff of meditation over the next few days.... or years. But it helps me learn more about me. Personally, about the only job that I've really been good at. It's a continuing one that I'm pretty sure I don't have to worry about being laid off from. I'm just happy that I've had a thrilling set of coworkers over the years who've made my job increasingly easier when the management has thrown bizarre new challenges at me after promotions.
Yeah... figure that last one out on your own. Cause somewhere in there... I think the last 42 words.... may be something to help me with my waiting.
It's been a bumpy day... but hey, without the bumps... things get too boring and mundane.
P.S.: Yes, she really was walking two llamas down the sidewalk. Weird. "I think I'm gonna like it here!" - Annie