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Andrei in the office


Andrei's Universe

One man's journey from infinity to nothingness

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Andrei in the office

MEMETIME or DAILY RANT... not sure which

So, the current MEME du week going around (at least the journals that I read) is:
Gabriel Night's Polyamorous test.

I tried. I figured... Theoretically, I should score well on this... Um... no

To be honest, I couldn't even answer half the questions (No really, half) because the selections are either convoluted, vicious extremes in both directions, or layered with so many facts that there is no way to find an answer that even approximates your opinions.

The test (for those that dare) is located on OKCupid

As you take the test (again... if inclined) feel free to look at my commentary which has been sent to the author. In general... this one needs work.

Dear Gabriel_Night,

I am a software engineer. I am also openly poly. I am writing you because I tried to take your polyamoury test and wanted to send you a list of what I consider to be bugs in your test. This means, questions that are unanswerable because they pigeonhole the reader. The test is an excellent start, but I feel it needs a bit of revision...

Question 3:
Are you capable of loving more than one person at a time.
All these questions assume the person has never practiced polyamoury. The closest someone can select is choice 2 or 3. 2 causes a problem if the test taker wasn't close to their family, 3 fails because it outright says, "Though not in a relationship". 1 and 4 say, "No, I'm not poly"

The problem with the choices in question 3 is that you give to many factors in each choice. IE.
What is your favourite toping for pizza:
1. Mushrooms and cheesewhiz
2. Pepperoni and marshmellows
3. Beef and pureed spam
4. I hate any toppings on my pizza.

Question 6 is my next bug:
You find out a workmate is polyamourous - your reaction is closest to:
1: Weird, 2: Wow, I'm curious, 3: Sex maniac, 4: Potential relationship

This is a problem because you've got a series of reactions as if off a number line but all reactions are in the extreme. They are all either "run away or charge to" If you are going to list anything that fits on the number line. You always have to include 0 which is base reaction of neither extreme. In my case, the reaction would be, "Oh.. So?" I can't say that the person announcing poly would necessarily put them on my radar (4), but I'm certain that Weird (1) is out. I know that I have no questions or need to discuss it with the partner (2). And to me "Sex maniac" (3) seems like an abreaction.

9. I am not sure what to say here, but it's really in need of being rewritten.

10. The photo psychologically forces an answer choice. Futher, the picture shows sexual behavior which is separate from poly-mono amorous mentality. (amour - to love) There are swingers who have group sex and do not form relationships, there are polyamourous who love many but do not have group sex.

11. Same problem as 3. Too many facts per choice.

12 and 13. Can't answer. Disagree with all 4 choices. This is the same as #6. All answers are in the extreme.

14 is simply confusing. Are we trying to define dating or polyamourous behavior?

15. Numberline. How about: If there's the potential we discussed it in advance. It's the normal process of the long term relatiosnhip.

18. If you're going to have an extreme anti-reaction... it needs to be consistant and applicable to each question. Throwing it in randomly only creates a sense of humouir that doesn't really guage anything. Anyone with this severe a reaction isn't going to make it this far into the test.

19... too many possible answers. This one requires the evil: OTHER
My answer: It affords better honesty to self in who and what I am

20... as 19. Mine: It tests the mettle of your honesy to others.

Again, the test feels as though it was written from a mono standpoint trying to guage "Curiosity in this new and different lifestyle." Rather than guaging if the person "thinks" in mono or poly.

This is just my two bits. Please feel free to write me back if you have any questions or wish to discuss. My contact info is available via livejournal. I am lordandrei there as well.

As I said, the test is a good start. But at this point, I have to wait for a revision before I'll be able to take it.


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My biggest problem was the presumption of monogamy. I didn't analyze my irritation with it further than that.
Of course, being a lemming, I took it anyway :)

I think this test is stupid and biased against anything other than the limited viewpoint this author has. You are either poly or an asshole.


I tried to do a polyamorous test like this, and truth be told it's easier to criticize the author of the test than to actually make one of your own.

Mostly because of how it's done. You're limited to a certain number of characters for the question, and for each answer basically less than 80 characters (might be 60), AND you're limited to a max of 4 questions AND you can't have multiple choice.

To score it, you give an answer either a positive number or a negative number. What I did was give the one I'd feel most likely a poly person would answer a +2, and one a mono person most likely would answer a -2, with other's being a -1 or +1 or 0 if it was neutral. The problem is a question like "Do you ever get jealous?" if it was scored +2 for yes and -2 for no... well hey there are monogamous folks who don't experience jealousy, and plenty of poly people who do SO it's not exactly a question that you could easily say, as a 1 question test "Oh, then you must be poly" from.

And then, once the answers are all tallied, you have a range that you can choose from. You can break it down into 3 sections, or 5, or 10, but somehow if you answered +2 to all questions you'd be in the top and -2 to all questions you'd be at the bottom. Throw enough "grey area" answers in there and it's likely that you'll get a poly person take the test and get the final result of "Ah, you're just barely poly" when it's a little more difficult than that.

So I'm just saying, unless the guy is a PhD in psych or in creating tests like this, give him a break... Or even better, as I'd suggested to the critics I had, please write one better and let the world know so we can take it... and then you can have someone who's world viewpoint doesn't exactly match yours, and who didn't spend a few hours writing and testing the test send you email saying "It's a good start, but..." :)

Just saying because I've been there.

Seriously though I'd *love* to see an equivalent poly test from ya.. I think it might be pretty interesting! :)

I totally agree with you Andre. I felt like the questions were difficult to answer because of the way they were worded. In my current situation however, the end result helped me take a look at whats going on in my head. I know there is no way I'd ever be able to write a test like that. You should try though!

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