Andrei Freeman (lordandrei) wrote,
Andrei Freeman

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It makes me uneasy that it makes me uneasy that...

I am in the midst of writing a post to my S&F filter. It's something internal to me.

It's my way of fighting the monsters. The monsters (in this case) are the things that gnaw away at who I am. The things that make me uncomfortable being the me that I am.

I like operating with a clear conscious. Gods know I have done more than my share of dumb things deceiving myself that something was okay. So, I've learned to listen to my inner voice and my gut when doing things. Trying not to act out of habit but out of intent.

This would all be great... if all my inner voices were on my side. :)

Oh, ye who now reach for books to see if Andrei is Psychotic...tosh!

Everyone has voices of doubt in their head. Voices that keep you from making the best progress. Voices that keep you safe and secure, even when you don't need to be. Sometimes they are on your side, they mean well. They are the voice in your head as you're about to jump out of an airplane, screaming, "What the F*#$ are you doing! You're gonna get yourself killed!!!!" They're the ones that tell you not to talk to the person in the bar because they are gonna just say, "no."

You fight these voices. And you learn more about yourself.

So... when I find something that annoys me, irritates me, or makes me uncomfortable. That's when the magickian in me rolls up the sleeves of my robe. That's when it's time to go dragon hunting.

More forthcoming as I face this new dragon.

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