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Andrei in the office


Andrei's Universe

One man's journey from infinity to nothingness

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Andrei in the office

Moral dilemmas and other ethical quandaries

Last evening I made a quick run down the hill to get dinner for us. We were both very busy on projects. My house is on a long, twisty, mountain road with a lovely view of downtown L.A. (Those stalkers can probably now locate me)

Our neighborhood is one of those up-and-coming locations where old houses are being razed and newer nicer ones are being... well raised. The bottom of the hill isn't really a great neighborhood.

As I hit our street on the way back coming up the hill I saw something. It was 7-10 boys. It looked like 2 were having a fight. The boys looked somewhere around the age of 13-16. One boy had another in what looked like a head-lock of sorts and the others were clustered around smiling/laughing. The boys looked to be of hispanic decent.

I saw this, had a momentary desire to pull over and ....

and drove on.

I thought back to the two (and only two) times I'd been 'beat up' growing up. Both were before the age of 15. Both times I'd taken the course of no-resistance. Not to give in, but not to physically fight back. In both occasions I'd managed to walk away fairly (physically) unscathed. Memories, however, last forever.

Should I have interceded as an adult. What could I have done. I am a 35 year old (average height) male. I am physically out of shape with no defense training. There were at least 7 of them.

So... do I find myself making excuses, justifications, rationalizations. I think how I used to have that golden wish of being a white knight. Media often portrays the hero as someone who will risk all to save someone who can not defend themselves. I think of the weaker 13 year old boy being laughed at by 5 acquaintances while another pummels him for a reason that has little cause to justify that action. I think about a theoretical 2 year old girl that may exist and whether her mother is competent or sane.

How do you save them all? You don't kill yourself. Sometimes the hero has to walk away from a battle so that he can find a better way to help those around him without killing everyone involved. Sometimes, it's not his job to save the one person in need he has seen.

The knowledge that intervention can make things worse comes from experience and at least thinking and trying. Hoping along the way that you've made the right decisions.

I think I made the right decision... Now all I have to do is see if there is anything I can do to prevent this from happening again or getting worse.

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I'm the type who usually does get involved when I see fit regardless of the odds. 8)~

However, given the circumstances you're describing, don't even worry about it. It's a coming of age thing. If someone *did* step in for the kid getting beat up, he'll never learn how to own his power.

IMO, if you want to stop getting beat up by people, then take self-defense classes. People who expect others to fend for them are trying to live an ideal where reality doesn't necessarily comply. Like, just because one wants to believe they live in a safe neighborhood doesn't mean it won't be their own fault if they are burglarized cuz they leave their doors unlocked.

Thinking about further on it...

Don't you carry that big ass sword in your car anymore?!?!

Awwww.. you coulda came out with your Andrei MacGreggor accent and scared the living shit out of them!!!heehee 8)~

"Daydreams of an Aries"


Having driven through the neighborhood and considering the number of people, I think you did the right thing. The only thing else you could have done was to call 911. I'll see you tonight.


as long as nobody was limp like a broken-necked ragdoll and no one was getting their teeth curbed, I think you probably did the kid in the headlock more good than playing white knight. I figure you would have mentioned it if the victim was like 1/3 the size of the kid holding him locked up, so it doesn't seem like it was a case of "Bluto-ism" -- when I would definitely call 911.

Even being up to 122, I'm just a pipsqueak myself, so I have been known to make the call rather than getting involved a few times in the past. Having prayed fruitlessly many times that some concerned neighbor would call 911 while I was fighting off a 280lb'er back in the days when I weighed about 95lbs -- it is against my will to have such things occur within my sphere of affect ever again.

In my apartment complex -- when people argue here, we all warn them of an incident that happened here a little over a year ago. A guy took a swing at his wife when she asked him about a bounced check, she ducked and hence his fist went right through a window, severed his brachial artery -- bled out in 3 minutes flat before the ambulance even arrived. If it sounds like furniture or fists are moving in a way they shouldn't -- you bet we make "the call."

I think it's likely that the mere intervention of an adult would have stopped them.

been there, didn't do that either. It's no win, just too many possibilities to pick the wrong side, even if you guessed right.

Of course, I never had an adult step in to keep my ass from getting kicked. Quite the contrary, as a matter of fact. I'd get chewed out for allowing someone twice my size to beat me up. So, since I was never any good at fighting, I became a "nice guy" as a form of defense. It's worked really well for years.

As for the kid getting beaten up, bruises heal.

Just curious, but did you call 9-1-1? I would've, even if I had to wait until I got home to do so...

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