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Andrei in the office

lordandrei

Andrei's Universe

One man's journey from infinity to nothingness


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Andrei in the office
lordandrei

And that's why they say you don't trust anyone over 30...

There was a recent post in the polyamoury community on LJ. Someone was talking about a realization that they were bisexual and polyamourous. The person is also mostly engaged to someone who is very monogomous. Sie then goes on to talk about how hir partner is straight and mono. Sie wants to broach the topic without making hir partner feel inadequate because, "...(the partner) can be a little insecure" and where as sie can be, "...a little impatient with people that don't share (the poster's) point of view."

I was actually motivated to post about the reality of communication in a relationship. How it really does work to find someone who shares your views and someone you can be completely open and honest with. I wanted to comment about how a real test in love is your self image and faith in each other.

Then I looked at the poster's user info. 19 years old. 20 in a few weeks.

I rolled my eyes, shrugged and made my comment here instead.

I remember filling a form out online once that asked for my age. It had
18-24, 25-34, 35-45. I was 25 years old. At the time I hated being grouped with 34 year (very) olds. By 28 I was surrounded in 24 year olds who didn't understand why I felt so comparatively old to my friends. Somewhere around 29 my Saturn return ended and I came to terms with my age. From 29-33 I made a lot of mistakes and learned alot about myself. (Hell, I still make mistakes, fortunately... they seem to be getting smaller and easier to fix) All through my 20s I was convinced I knew what was going on and where I was going.

I got engaged the first time at 21. I did it because I wanted to prove to the girl I was dating that I was in fact faithful despite her accusations and did want to be with her. (What a reason) I think back on myself at 19.. going on 20. I had failed out of college. I was hanging out with a Rocky Horror cast. I was working at Chuck E. Cheese. I was telling a girl at work I was gay to get her interested in me. (Yes, I was that shallow)

So here I am. A callous? man in my mid 30s. Is my romanticism dead? No. Is it tempered by reality and possibility? Yes.

Don't trust anyone over 30. They've outgrown the desire to fix someone and sometimes have a love of the natural chaos that makes people learn on their own.

To PA (the 19 y.o. poster). My advice. Dump the person you're with and find someone who shares your core values that you truly feel you can talk to. This should only take 5-15 years. ;)

Edit:Fixed a tag. Clarified who PA is.


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What a wonderful post! This is all so true. I have a far far better grasp of who I am and what I need/want then I ever did in my twenties (or even thirthies--for me).

They've outgrown the desire to fix someone and sometimes have a love of the natural chaos that makes people learn on their own.

AMEN!

Hugs! And hopefully we'll be online at the same time sometime soon to catch up via IM.

Dude, that's the most insightful peice of writing I've read in quite some time...and I brought a bible to work with me!

"Don't trust anyone over 30. They've outgrown the desire to fix someone and sometimes have a love of the natural chaos that makes people learn on their own.'

This is me in a nutshell (yeah right, no one will nutshell me, dammit). And I had been wondering how to articulate the frustration I feel with those who refuse to engage in introspection, no matter how desperately they need to. My life is so much cleaner and healthier not that I no longer feel like everyones problems are mine too.




You shouldn't have given up the Rocky Horror though!
My girlfriend is in her 30's and I Am in my 20's and I Think its nice having an older chick around even though she's so much younger and sillier than I am. But your post was very cool man, very cool.

"Don't trust anyone over 30. They've outgrown the desire to fix someone and sometimes have a love of the natural chaos that makes people learn on their own."

How's this for a twist:

Don't trust anyone over 30. They've outgrown the desire to fix *themselves* and sometimes have a love of the natural chaos that other people slowly realize *they create* on their own.

Myself included.
heehee
8)~

PS: Just an FYI, I'm stealing Heather away from you. 8)

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