May 2nd, 2007

Andrei in the office

Absent and introspective

I haven't been posting a lot of late. And my actual posts of any level of substance have dropped down to almost non-existance.

Oh, sure there is the occasional meme, link, or youtube video. But posting about me... Not a whole lot to go on.

I think I've been turning a bit inward.

I find that as much work as I've done on myself in the past 10 years to no longer be the awkward 30 year old who felt like a social pariah has been getting misdirected.

Most of my time had evolved into working on getting to do what I liked doing rather than simply doing it. The work had turned into the journey, not the work itself.

Obviously a lot of that changed about 8 months ago. 8 months ago a process began that changed the world from planning for the now, to living in the now.

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The truth that I discover is that all the little things that don't seem important, eventually do add up. Somehow I need to make more time for that which I seem to have less time. But this is primarily because I feel I've never actually budgeted time for the small things at all and thus a monster of the small things combined as come forth. This monster has made it clear that if I don't take it down and conquer it, it will take the time away from me from the things that are important to me.

I've let go of a lot of things over the past 6 months. Some I wish I hadn't... Some I shouldn't have taken to begin with. Some I hope to bring back into my life sooner than later. But all of these things are nothing compared to the things that I've avoided controlling in my life.

I consider myself a magickal being. granted I consider everyone and everything a magickal being. (Ask me about my system of destroying vampires with a simple look). I figure a magickian controls the world around him. I suppose it's time I start acting like that :)
  • Current Music
    Beethoven, I think. In the back of my head
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