July 5th, 2006

Enslin colour

Yisgadal v'yiskadash sh'mey rabah. Amein. B'almah dee v'ray kheer-utey,

May His great Name grow exalted and sanctified (Cong. Amen.)
    in the world that He created as He willed.-Mourner's Kaddish

Someone in my life asked me recently upon hearing of possible good fortune coming to me if I would mind if they prayed for me.

"Well, I figured I'd ask because... well, I'm religion, and I know you're..."

I cut the person off and smiled, "No, I don't mind."

I understand why the person asked. We've gotten to a point as a culture that religion has become so defined and so pigeon holed that more often than not we fear that other people's prayers may polute or dilute our own religious beliefs.

As I've commented many times over the last few years... I've become incredibly more spiritual, philosophical, and in my own way religious in comparison to where I was as recent as 10 years ago. Despite having just smiled and acquiesced... there was a bit of thought in my response. I knew the person who wanted to pray for me was only wishing good fortune in accordance with my beliefs and path. Seeking to offer me the personal energy to follow the path that I've laid out for myself. It's a very giving ting to do in this overly letiginous world of looking out for one self above all else. And the gesture is appreciated on so many levels.

If the subject line like most of my writing is too subtle to be quickly grapsed. I lost a friend during this holiday weekend.  It's extraordinary that I can call this person a friend because in truth I'd only known him for three... maybe 4 weeks. I don't really make friends easily in the work world anymore. Friendship is a luxury you can't spend on team members who might wind up managing you or managers who might wind up deciding on your layoff. Trust is something you dole out much like a confidential document. It's given on a need to know basis.

I've often joked that in this world there are three times of people.. Player Characters, Non-Player Characters, and Wandering Monsters. My new coworker Nathan had been hired on a week before I was to assume our current roles. We both went through training together and one could term it a bonding experience. Nathan was the Player Character that you were glad to have on your team. Nathan was a burner who was very active in the local community having just returned from Critical Massive the Seattle area "Burning Man" where he was one of the senior organizers. But despite all categories and lists... Nathan was Nathan.  Life was something you could see in his eyes. He grabbed life and rode it. I don't really think there was a judgemental bone in his body. This was someone who you knew was on the level and you could be on the level with just as easily.

I find myself reminded of my best friend in High School. We've lost track of each other over the years. I regret than now. I remember visiting him during graduate school. He told me that he envied me because I knew how to live life. This took me aback because I always envied his academic devotion and achievments. He told me that most of his sleeping dreams ran the theme of being like something he was watching on TV that he wasn't very participatory in them.

I find myself reflecting on why the Universe would choose to put such an example of the antithesis of how I view coworkers into my life for such a short period of time to take him away. A person who so lived the philosophical ideal I constantly strive for. Each individual moment in our lives becomes a defining point of who we are, who we've been, and who we shall be. I am happy to feel I will be a better person for having been able to meet and get to know (albeit only slightly) Nathan.

Nathan was happy with who he was... Living life in a way that made him happy... And was accepting of everyone around them for who they were.

I pray for a man today that I really didn't know well at all. I don't try to dilute his beliefs in any way with my actions. I only wish that he receives in death that which fulfills him as much as he fulfilled himself in life.

Term of all that liveth, whose name is inscrutable, be favourable unto us in thine hour.

Unto them from whose eyes the veil of life hath fallen may there be granted the accomplishment of their true Wills; whether they will absorption in the Infinite, or to be united with their chosen and preferred, or to be in contemplation, or to be at peace, or to achieve the labour and heroism of incarnation on this planet or another, or in any Star, or aught else, unto them may there be granted the accomplishment of their wills; yea, the accomplishment of their wills.
Liber XV - The Gnostic Mass