April 26th, 2002

Andrei in the office

Yesterday. "Yeah... my eye!"

Yesterday I was to have Lasik touch up surgery.

I am currently 20/22 in my left eye and about 20-35 in my right.

For those wondering, why they didn't 'get it right the first time.' this is easily explained. The process is actually carving away at the incorrectly shaped focusing elements of the eye with a laser. However, like all operative procedures, there is the potential for swelling. Also as this is effectively a 'removal' technique. You don't want to take out, "Too much". My vision was severe enough that they decided to take 80-90% rather than 90-95%. After the swelling of the procedure passed they could do a smaller additional correction.

My vision has been further complicated by a 'lazy eye' I have difficulty fusing a double image when I am tired. Typically, my coke bottles would take care of that. Since the lasik however, my eyes are focusing on their own. For better or worse. This double image problem has gotten worse.

So, I get to the doctor's office thanks to a co-worker (many stories on her another time)

They sit me down and offer me valium and ibuprofen. I decline the Ibupro as my PCP (remember when that was a bad term) and I have established that Ibupro kills the effectiveness of my allergy medicine.

valium... Whee! valium. Let me tell you what this stuff does...to me. It's an anxiety medication. So, basically, your nervousness and fear go away.
"So do you mind if we take a needle to your face?"
"Okay, sure..."

valium has 3 main effects:

  • No anxiety, no real fear. "Sure...go ahead...."
  • Slows brain to mouth. Brain is fine. Delivery to mouth becomes loopy
  • Slows brain to body. I stumble and walk like I'm in a haze. It's fun...
  • Inhibitions...what inhibitions. I'll say whatever comes to mind. (Oh boy)

About this time, I look up and ask if the sty on my eyelid will be a problem. The Assistant says, "Oh yeah." This is an infection on the lid. You really don't want to operate on the eye if there's already an infection. It has this nasty 'blindness' side effect.

So now I am sitting there approaching a nice 'stone' and they ask if I'd like to have the sty removed surgically.

"Sure...go ahead.."

So, I go under the knife (not the laser) and the sty is removed. Today my eye lid is all purple and puffy. People are asking me how the lasik went. I explain the above and comment that I have in fact not been in a bar brawl. Everyone I have made this comment to has said, "Hey, yeah. you should make up a good story."

Why do people want me to make up stories about being in a fight?

I got a lift home from my co-worker. I had to bite my lip a lot. We do not comment about our co-workers while on medication. We like out job too much.

Was able to talk online. For some reason muscle memory and brain were okay. though severe lack of inhibition on line. I have yet to find out if I'm in trouble from one conversation with someone in the 'dram guild' ;)

All in all.. not a bad day.
  • Current Mood
    sore sore
Andrei in the office

Today's ounce of sacrilege

Cross posted to polyamory community. Please forgive me if you see this more than once.

I got into a really weird mood this evening. I was listening to a song off a favourite soundtrack from a musical. The song has (as far as I know) absolutely nothing to do with what I was reading into it.

What I heard was two women singing a song to the same man. Mostly together, but each in their own way. They shared love for him and both wanted to be with him. They were together in this and their voices blended together in their shared love of him.

I've been dealing with my beliefs, faiths, realization of polyamoury and the very difficult journey that any lifestyle like this is for a male in this time. The song, I've always found beautiful. This time I think it made me detach a little.

For anyone devoutly religious, please do not turn this into an attack on your religion, for me this was just a song I've always liked that touched me in a new way tonight.

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  • Current Music
    By My Side - Godspell