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Andrei in the office

lordandrei

Andrei's Universe

One man's journey from infinity to nothingness


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Andrei in the office
lordandrei

Not been posting. Posting again

Haven't really had much to say for myself lately. Been too busy looking in on everyone else's life to really have anything interesting to come up with.

Dull, dull, dull. Been dull yet swinging up out of my post holiday depression. I guess (J) is right....I hate admitting that but I'm going to take another look after new years about finding....'assistance.' I think it's chemical. Because when focused and not so depressed I seem fine. Not take on the world and crush it under my feet, fine. Just enthusiastic and happy, fine. I figure the former leads down the path to bi-polar and we really don't want to go there.

Like I said...dull, dull, dull. Not just me but work. And when work gets dull you know it's going to be boring. Practically, no one came in this past week. It kept things very quiet in the office. Friday was our project manager's last day. (May be product manager, I never get these corporate business terms right) She is basically quitting work and running away to Hawaii so that they can surf and find themselves. Friday was her last day. We were supposed to all go out and have a send off lunch for her at noon. Unfortunately, due to the number of people that wanted to go this got pushed to about 1:15. I had an appointment with my Lasek Doctor at 2pm. So no lunch for me. I was going to try to run back after the appointment to make the bar crawl with everyone but the appointment ran until 4:30 and everyone was gone.

This is the second send off in two weeks I've missed for legitimate reasons. But none the less, I'm not pleased. I feel like I'm not being a team player. But now that she's gone I'm fully going to admit publicly. She was hot. She fell into "Andrei favoured body-type" in a second. Hell, her only real flaw going in was that she was a Dallas Cowboys fan, and most people who know me will understand that. (Ari, it's my football team's biggest, most hated rival...If you don't count the Browns, Ravens, Oilers (snif), Titans... Okay...so we don't like anyone...except the Packers. "fuh---haaarv.") But I digress....several levels. She was cute. But I have enough business ethics to bury that 100%.

Since then, I've been spending too much time on LJ in other people's journals and communities. I've come to the conclusion that I like the response factor. I think I wasn't getting enough satisfaction in my own that I took that need elsewhere. Boy... that statement is frightening. That's one for me to take apart in down time. There must be several people on LJ who'd love to rip me an orifice over that character flaw.

But part of what I came to this past week is that I'm tired of the boredom and being dull. I tend to believe I'm more interesting than I've been behaving. So I decided to hunker down (again) and do something about it. I have much to tackle and I can't let myself be overwhelmed. (Down that road causes me to back off and stop) I'll hit it in single pieces and not get down when I don't get as much done as I want.

Now the trick is in seeing if I can see it through. I gotta 'fix da shit' or I'm gonna fade away.


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*gives you a knowing nod*

I think you are a lot like me... When I am happy, I am really happy. When I am down, I am really down. Our brains like to do this ying/yang thing. I think we get lots of ying, and then lots of yang. St. Johns Wart is wonderful in making the yings less yingy and the yangs less yangy.

But...I think our age has a lot to do with it too. We are thirtysomething...we are in that age where we know what it is to be young and free, and we are experiencing aging too. That, in and of itself, is kinda hard on us.

If you like the Dallas Cheerleader kinda chicks...you sure as heck wouldn't like me. Yeah I have a nice ass, and perky breasts, but man...I like working on cars, and weilding swords, and playing video games, and drinking beer. *giggle*

Re: *gives you a knowing nod*

Okay... Let me re-explain....the co-worker was a Dallas Football team fan. As a Pittsburgh fan this is a problem. Other than that...she was what I'd call eye-candy to me. Granted...I tend to have a rather broad sweet-tooth that way.

Perhaps 'broad' is the wrong term.

You sound perfectly fine to me. Well I prefer cordials, liquors, and meads to beer. But other than that....

Love you, Greg. Hope that you find what you need to. I'll keep praying for you (hey, it pays to keep all of the bases covered).

Lots of Hugs

(Anonymous)
Greg, I too have been where you are (actually, am pretty much there now), so completely sympathize. Many hugs, and much love from your little in Pittsburgh. If you ever need to talk, you know how to find me. Just remember that you are *not* dull in any way, shape, or form. Your life will pick up. :)

Well, truly, in the little time we've talked, you have struck me as being anything but dull. If, however, you are truly bored, visit Pa, and we'll see what we can do to liven things up for you!

As to chemical help - it can be a very good thing. Sort of gives you back all that emotional energy you spend hauling yourself up by your bootstraps, and lets you use it in new directions.

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