Dull, dull, dull. Been dull yet swinging up out of my post holiday depression. I guess (J) is right....I hate admitting that but I'm going to take another look after new years about finding....'assistance.' I think it's chemical. Because when focused and not so depressed I seem fine. Not take on the world and crush it under my feet, fine. Just enthusiastic and happy, fine. I figure the former leads down the path to bi-polar and we really don't want to go there.
Like I said...dull, dull, dull. Not just me but work. And when work gets dull you know it's going to be boring. Practically, no one came in this past week. It kept things very quiet in the office. Friday was our project manager's last day. (May be product manager, I never get these corporate business terms right) She is basically quitting work and running away to Hawaii so that they can surf and find themselves. Friday was her last day. We were supposed to all go out and have a send off lunch for her at noon. Unfortunately, due to the number of people that wanted to go this got pushed to about 1:15. I had an appointment with my Lasek Doctor at 2pm. So no lunch for me. I was going to try to run back after the appointment to make the bar crawl with everyone but the appointment ran until 4:30 and everyone was gone.
This is the second send off in two weeks I've missed for legitimate reasons. But none the less, I'm not pleased. I feel like I'm not being a team player. But now that she's gone I'm fully going to admit publicly. She was hot. She fell into "Andrei favoured body-type" in a second. Hell, her only real flaw going in was that she was a Dallas Cowboys fan, and most people who know me will understand that. (Ari, it's my football team's biggest, most hated rival...If you don't count the Browns, Ravens, Oilers (snif), Titans... Okay...so we don't like anyone...except the Packers. "fuh---haaarv.") But I digress....several levels. She was cute. But I have enough business ethics to bury that 100%.
Since then, I've been spending too much time on LJ in other people's journals and communities. I've come to the conclusion that I like the response factor. I think I wasn't getting enough satisfaction in my own that I took that need elsewhere. Boy... that statement is frightening. That's one for me to take apart in down time. There must be several people on LJ who'd love to rip me an orifice over that character flaw.
But part of what I came to this past week is that I'm tired of the boredom and being dull. I tend to believe I'm more interesting than I've been behaving. So I decided to hunker down (again) and do something about it. I have much to tackle and I can't let myself be overwhelmed. (Down that road causes me to back off and stop) I'll hit it in single pieces and not get down when I don't get as much done as I want.
Now the trick is in seeing if I can see it through. I gotta 'fix da shit' or I'm gonna fade away.