?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Andrei in the office

lordandrei

Andrei's Universe

One man's journey from infinity to nothingness


Previous Entry Share Flag Next Entry
Andrei in the office
lordandrei

I actually cried on the way to work today.

I actually cried on the way to work today.

This was a new emotion for me. It was happy yet hysterical tears. Basically, I think I'll call it a kick of gnosis. In my 'religion' (Though, it's not really accurate to call Thelema a religion or necessarily the full definition of what I consider religious; anyway...) the whole purpose of life is that quest to find out who one really is and truly live up to being that person. You do this hopefully by being moved in that direction by that 'spiritual you' which is that furthest direect connection to the divine that is represented by that ideal, perfect you.

Some call it HGA, some call it Guardian Angels, some call it our Conscience... Call it what you will.

I pulled a song I hadn't listened to in quite some time. This song has far too much 'baggage' in my universe. This means, that it means more than I think it really should. Don't get me wrong... I like the song. It's got a nice beat and you can invoke to it. The memories of what it ties to make me smile because in someways it partially started me on the path I am on. It means more to other people who were more closely tied to it. (Which I realize is utterly vague to people who have no clue what I'm talking about)

I put the song on and I had concepts of Libers Samekh and Thisharb running thru my head. I had concepts of what KOC is supposed to mean... and than I just started to laugh and tear up... It's about self and the joy in making one's self more attuned to the will. Afterwards, I turned off my music and 4 creative projects of writing and directing resurfaced and my mental blocks shattered and they advanced in my head.

If you're a Thelemite... feel free to look at the lyrics and see if that makes any sense, if you're part of a specific group of people... um.. Thanks... for giving me an instrument that I think has more in it that any of us ever really thought about.

Yes, I'm weird. And I revel in this at times...


Survivor - I Can't Hold Back

There's a story in my eyes
Turn the pages of desire
Now it's time to trade those dreams
For the rush of passion's fire

I can feel you tremble when we touch
And I feel the hand of fate
Reaching out to both of us

I've been holding back the night
I've been searching for a clue from you
I'm gonna try with all my might
To make this story line come true


Can you feel me tremble when we touch
Can you feel the hand of fate
Reaching out to both of us
This love affair can't wait

I can't hold back, I'm on the edge
I can't hold back Your voice explodes inside my head
I can't hold back, I won't back down
It's too late to turn back now

Another shooting star goes by
And in the night the silence speaks to you and I
And now the time has come at last
Don't let the moment run too fast

I can feel you tremble when we touch
And I feel the hand of fate
Reaching out to both of us

There's a story in my eyes
Turn the pages of desire
Now it's time to trade those dreams
For the rush of passion's fire

I can't hold back, I'm on the edge
I can't hold back Your voice explodes inside my head
I can't hold back, I won't back down
It's too late to turn back now

I can feel you tremble when we touch
And I feel the hand of fate
Reaching out to both of us
This love affair can't wait

I can't hold back
I can't hold back
I can't hold back
I can't hold back