Andrei Freeman (lordandrei) wrote,
Andrei Freeman

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An overdue post: Why I write '93' a lot.

To all who read this: 93!

An ironic preface to this note: I am writing this post on an airplane. My 'single serving friend' is Amanda. Amanda is a woman who is apporximately 30 reading Sylvia Browne's book on Finding the Spirit Guide. She is baptist and is studying this and looking to meet with a teacher to learn energy work. We spoke briefly about the parallels between a spirit guide and the concept of a holy guardian angel. I seemed to have drawn her away 'through definition' from the concept that "Pagan" is a derorgatory term. I wonder if I should tell her I'm an ordained Deacon and a Novitiate Priest.

A quick additional word before we start. The opinions contained herein are mine. They are neither fact nor official definition. This is the makings of MY religion. You can opt to agree, disagree, shake your head and sigh, or deify me and make posters with me making funny gestures while I wear screwy hats. Your life; your choice. I also state my views of other religions... they may be right or wrong. Other people seem to know much more about other religions that I do about them. That being said, this is what I believe as a result of either my accurate or inaccurate opinions. Feel free to correct or comment. Personal attacks will be blissfully deleted.

The short form...
93 is the kaballistic (numerological) equivalent of "Thelema" the Greek Word for Will.

The Will (in my eyes) is that spiritual guiding force that tries to move you along the path to make you you. The True Will is being able to be on that divine path that helps you be the best 'you' that you can be.

What is it:
I practice a philosophy known as "Thelema." I am a member of a secret order of ceremonial magickians known as the OTO (Ordo Templi Orientis, the Order of Oriental Templars, or Order of the Temple of the East). We are so secret that you can find our national web site on the internet at

So now I try to put down some definitions as I see it:

93==YMMV; I'll explain that shortly.

As I said, the Will (in my eyes) is that spiritual guiding force that tries to move you along the path to make you you. The True Will is being able to be on that divine path that helps you be the best 'you' that you can be. Now the divine isn't forcing you to be that way. It's just if one is trying to find that divine 'grand scheme' this is a good way to hop on that band wagon. The divine even put in the mechanism for you to blow off the path entirely. Such is "Free Will"

So, the path of Thelema is to try to achieve the True Will. Being the best "you" you truly can be. As one of my favourite Thelemic philosophers (William Shakespeare) so aptly wrote, "To thine own self be true." See, in my twisted mindset; Jesus was a Thelemite, he just didn't realize it, because he didn't see the grand plan, "…not my will , but thine, be done."(Luke 22:42 for those who want to tell me I got the quote wrong) See if Jesus was saying (in red of course... he always spoke in red ink) that he was prepared to lay down his desires in order to do the work the lord had for him... Then by my definition he was opting not to travel off the path and seek only his True (divine designed) Will.

So what's so great about doing the True Will. Let's consider that the True Will is the divine's way of fitting each creature into the "Grand Scheme" One could theorize that if everyone got with the grand scheme... it would all work like clock work. You figure the divine has got to be good enough to design it so everything could just 'click'

Well, here's where it gets interesting... If a person is doing hir True Will, then (since it would come together) they can't get in the way of someone else attaining their own true will. So in other words... Do your true will and nothing should get in your way as you shouldn't get in anyone else's way... Well, a nice theory and all. But we are human (much as some of us would prefer not to sully ourselves with such terms... we are.)

As humans, we have free will, we have ego, we have lust of result. We have the ability to absolutely miss what is right for us and repeat bad behavior patterns even as that little voice screams in our heads, "Putz! You know better than this!" Alright... yours probably doesn't use the word 'Putz'... but mine does.

So what is that voice. That would be your spirit guide, your HGA, or best viewed as, that spiritual you. The thing that the perfect you will transcend into just over the cosmic line of being mortal. It is you. It is you on your best day. It is the beautiful you, it is the "Aha! I do have a smart response to that" you. It is the you that you've touched a few times in your life and made you content.

The HGA's job is to be the runner between you on the mortal plane and the management team that the divine has set out to make sure you are getting the chance to better yourself. You may think... Wait, God has a managerial staff? I'm not going to get into the 4 levels of heaven (too kaballistic for this post) but let's face it... If your advisor is 'the holy guardian angel' and everyone has one (That's lots) and between you and the divine there is at least 4 "Archangels" there may actually be a management structure working here ;)

Granted, there is nothing that prevents you from finding your spiritual self to the point where you become divine. Worked for a nice jewish carpenter a couple of thousand years back... and he wasn't making $5.25 an hour.

This having been said let's go back to "Thelema" the Will. Since finding the path and acting upon it "Doing the True Will" is a path that can only lead to self-betterment in a spiritually fulfilling way... and since "Doing the True Will" will prevent you from obstructing the pursuits of others to do their will. The best thing you can tell someone is to go forth and Do their True Will.

Work as they are "Will" to work, Eat as they Will to eat. Sleep, dress, talk, write and even Love as they are Will to do so. Because in doing that... Doing it solely for the purpose that it is in their Will to do so.... That is self empowerment, self-improvement and self-enlightenment.

As a result, most people who practice Thelema, greet each other by reaffirming this desire:

"Do what thou Wilt shall be the whole of the Law!"

Now, when Brother Gardner presented this, he softened it. Many a Wiccan has heard, "And it harm none, Do what ye Wilt."

I actually studied Thelema before Wicca. This is a bit strange. When I took the Wicca class this line came up. The question was asked... "What is harm." I knew it wasn't "hurt" because sometimes you have to 'hurt' someone. I don't mean domestic, physical violence. I mean, breaking up with someone because the relationship is souring the friendship, not giving a guy a five on the street because he'll make his life worse, even getting a job "Hurts" the other people who didn't get the job. So... Hurt is necessary. It's icky... But it's there.

So what is Harm? The only way I can read it is to try to push someone away from their true will. Changing a person into someone they aren't. Now, (and as much to the teacher's chagrin in Wicca class) I performed the following mathematical reduction proof.

If Harming someone is to work against their will. And you are to do your will unless it harms someone.... And yet, it's impossible to harm someone if you're doing your true will.

Then... just do your will. That's it. "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law!"

If you're still reading, you may have thought... Uh, yeah... kinda interesting, don't know if I buy into it just working and what about the 93.. and the YMMV thing.

First off, I re-stress. These are my opinions. Because, it is based in my belief that I am following my Will. You have your own definitions and your own ways to make it all 'work' for you. Some of this might ring true to you... other of it may not...

Thelema really reduces down to: "Your mileage may vary." YMMV

So why did I abbreviate it. That gets into a mystic study called Kaballah. And don't ask me how to properly spell it, it's a Hebrew word. So it's not spelled with English letters. Kaballah is the study of the patterns of the universe. You may have heard, "And in all things, As above, so below" The body is the universe, is the molecule, is the macrocosm, is the microcosm, is the design of rack-and-pinion steering. It's all linked.

Willow learned that this past summer ;)

We can look at letters, abbreviations or even assign numbers to the letters and look at that.

In greek if we use Alpha=1, Beta=2, --> 7,8,9,10,20,30,40....

Thelema in Greek adds up to '93'

I must break now as we are about to land in Seattle. More later :-D
I return now, about 4 days after returning. Oddly the flight from Seattle back to San Jose ended as I exitted the plane, running into Amanda who asked how my trip was. I explained "Very satisfying" which will be the crux of one unfinished post and several others... She was "wasted" (in her own words) from the incredible energy work. (I love closet pagans)

So, when we left our lesson. This magickal word, "Thelema" added up to 93. Boy, that's so much easier than greeting everyone you see with a sentence including the mediaeval, family favourite: "Wilt"

Now, numerology (kaballism) is a funny thing. Again, as the great sage 'Willow' taught us in the 7th book of Slayage, "It's all connected." Happily as M will add up for you, every number is the same, it all is equal and a Dog lives in God. (And you may all call me a heathen centre of pestilence now)

See, another word in good old Greek that adds up to 93 is "Agape". This is (in my understanding, though I've been given cause recently to believe that thelemites tend to be off on the accuracy) the definition is Willed Love. This isn't lust, or puppy interest, or NRE infatuation. (Though each can be a bi-product ;) This is the kind of Love that nothing stops. This is honest to goodness, Princess Bride, "As You Wish" love.

So, now we have the wish of thelema, "Do what thou wilt, shall be the whole of the law." = 93

And the inevitable followup: "Love is the Law, Love under Will"

If Will is the only law and you find a love that is Agape... or a truly willed love, you have no job but to pursue it.

love = 93 love under will 93/93

None of this even scratches the surface... But it's what I believe. At least for the past 4 years and for the foreseeable future. And I'm sticking with it.

Do with it as you will. I may be right, you might be crazy.

93 = Your milage may vary (YMMV)

Best of luck and life,

93, 93/93

EDIT: 02004-03-24 - Added link to definition of 'Single Serving Friend'
EDIT: 02004-12-12 - Updated OTO Grand Lodge URL. Added post to memories.
EDIT: 02004-12-17 - Since link is now OTO US Grand Lodge, corrected description from international to national
EDIT: 02004-12-17 - Added a link to my exploration into the spelling of Kabbballaaee
EDIT: 02005-01-27 - Changed the title from Why I put 93 down a lot. to Why I write '93' a lot. The new title doesn't give the impression that I am speaking badly of it.

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